They're Plotting World Domination

I never gave much thought to owning four cats. In fact, we had five until sweet Grover passed away. Two were "impulse buys," and then Mr. S came back. So we had 5. Now we have 4. It didn't seem like a big deal. We have the time and money to care for four, and they all seem to get along relatively well. But the one thing I didn't factor in: cats en masse plotting world domination. Or at least their world, in other words, my house.

It's kind of creepy when all four are in the same room at the same time, all wanting the same thing, i.e. a meal. Three out of the four are really calm about it (I won't mention names, Q*bert), which some people might think is great. But having three cats calmly standing within a foot of you, silently watching every move you make...well, it's honestly just creepy. I can tell they're watching, and I know they're sitting there, silently judging me. "Boy, are you slow." "Why aren't you feeding me faster?" "What other ways are you going to ruin my life today?"

Q*bert, bless his heart, jumps up on the food counter at every opportunity, requiring us to stop what we are doing, i.e. feeding him, in order to put him back on the floor. This can happen anywhere from once to a record fifteen times (I kid you not) in one feeding. As you can imagine, this slows the process down considerably, further angering the judgmental clan behind me.

Then, when all four have finally been fed and are sated, they have to clean themselves. They usually all stay in the kitchen to do this. So you have four cats, silently licking themselves, cleaning and cleaning. This is creepy too, especially when I can glance at all four of them at once. It's like they're taking over my house. Which they are.

If I'm behind on feeding them (OMG YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE FED US FIVE MINUTES AGO), they all start circling around the kitchen, again with judgement in their eyes. It's a lot to live up to.

In the winter, when it's cold out, we lock all of the animals in before bed. Unfortunately, bedtime for us is right after dinner for them, and anyone who has ever owned a cat before knows that immediately following dinner time is playtime/potty time. My cats don't like to potty inside, so even on the coldest of nights, they like to head outside to do their business. Mr. Squiggles is a large and in-charge kind of guy, so if he decides to go outside (and some nights, eh, the living room rug is sooooo much better), he's likely to go out and come right back in. But not Gus and Q. At least Q will come when he's called. Gus never listens to anything we say, so we just have to hope that he decides to come back in before we want to go to bed.

Once we think all six animals are inside, I always do a head count. My biggest fear is locking someone outside to freeze to death. Yikes. The dogs are always easy to find, so that's quick. But the cats are more challenging. Usually Mr. S can be found in the same place, so he's easy to cross of my checklist. But the other three are harder to find. And once I find all of them, I like to go back one more time, just to be sure I've gotten them all, but by this time, they're all changed places and moved somewhere else. So I have to hunt for them all over again. It's real fun.

I do love my boys, and I am grateful every day for the laughter they bring me. I just have to remember that I am here to serve them. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's probably someone I have to feed.