They Are Bored. I Am in Trouble.

(Sam taking advantage of Daddy when Daddy dropped a can of cat food on the floor)

My cats are really bored. The weather here hasn't been awful, per se. Just typical Illinois weather: cold, overcast, occasionally snowy, and, did I mention cold? My boys are pretty hearty. They'll go outside in all sorts of weather, and often I think they're nuts for even venturing past the pet door. But sometimes nature calls, and three of the four will only potty outside, so you gotta do what you gotta do.

Our temperatures have been hovering at or below freezing for a few weeks now, which, according to the cats, is not cool. They will go outside and do their business, but come back in pretty quickly and curl up in a nice, warm spot. Everyone knows cats sleep a lot, which they do. But cats also have to be awake at least a couple hours of the day. Going to the bathroom might take up, oh, let's generously say half an hour a day. And you gotta eat too, which is another, say, hour. (Mom and Dad take FOREVER to get meals made! You have to watch them like hawks.) That's about an hour and a half right there, but that leaves another good half hour or so of awake time...with no plans. What's a bored cat to do?

I'll tell you what a bored cat will do. A bored cat will tear through the house at top speed, for seemingly no reason. You will see a flash of brown in your periphery and think to yourself, "What the heck?" If you're lucky, it won't go any further than that, but if you're not lucky, another streak of brown and a streak of orange will also tear by, trying to figure out what's making the first streak of brown lose his mind. This usually leads to lots of hissing and growling, which requires me to get up off the couch, which I generally don't appreciate, thank you very much. (Mom likes to hibernate when it's cold too.)

Bored cats also like to stare at birds in the early morning hours. The best place for bird viewing is in the master bedroom, because there are two small-ish trees/bushes right outside two of the three windows. One window is a bay window overlooking magnolia bush and a redbud tree, and another window is a plain-'ol window, but it overlooks the redbud as well, plus it has a cat perch. Window number three has a cat perch but no tree, so it's the least desirable of the three. Two windows with good views plus three cats equals trouble.

Bay windows are large, you say. Surely two cats could share that window, you say. But you'd be wrong. Samson always claims the good window with the perch, and Q*bert always claims the bay window. Gus, as usual, is always late to the game, so by the time he's awake and ready for a window, the good ones are always claimed. Sometimes he'll take the crappy window, but if he's not in the mood, he'll check out Sam's. When he sees it's occupied (and Sam has no intention of sharing), he'll move on to the bay window. He peeks his little head behind the curtain, only to be greeted with a hiss and a growl from Q*bert. Common sense would tell you to say, "Oh, sorry, buddy. I didn't know this spot was occupied. My bad." And then walk away. But that's not how it goes down. It's much better to growl and hiss and stand your ground, waking Mom up. And since you're doing this just after dawn, Mom can't fall back asleep.

These events, and many more, happen every single day. It is pretty cute. But I won't deny that I am counting the days until spring arrives.