Tears of Frustration/Figure it Out

Just when things were going soooooooo well with Indiana, she got a massive UTI, and now we've done some backsliding.  It's really disappointing, and also scary.  Can she bounce back again?  She's done it before.

There are two main problems right now: one, her back legs are weak again, making it difficult for her to get up sometimes.  Before I leave the house, I have to make sure she is in a "safe" place (i.e. somewhere with rugs) and just hope that she doesn't get up and move somewhere "unsafe."  We've been trying to get her out daily for walks, but she typically gets out the door, turns right back around again, and goes back in the house.  I'm not going to force her to walk; she knows her body better than I do.  I just don't understand her aversion to walking right now, especially because I know it's the best thing for her.

The other problem is that she's rejecting food again.  Ugh.  This morning, I spent a good 25 minutes trying to get her to eat her breakfast (and this was canned food that she normally inhales).  I sprinkled freeze-dried duck on it.  I sprinkled appetite shaker on it.  I sprinkled a different appetite shaker on it.  I spread canned cat food on it.  The canned cat food finally sort of did the trick, but she left a good quarter of the food untouched.  That's not the end of the world, but it means she didn't get the entire dose of Poly-MVA (and at around $7 a dose, I hate to waste any). 

She's also been spitting out her pills, though I can usually get her to take all of them eventually.  Wrap the pills in the tiniest amount of liver sausage, and smoosh a liberally amount of canned cat food onto the wrapped pills.  She still sometimes "mouths" them, eating the meaty bits off and spitting out clean pills, but I can generally get her to eat them if I try again. 

This is all really frustrating to me.  I may have said "Damn it, Indiana" twice today.  I may have gotten cross with her.  I hate that.  I know she's not doing these things to frustrate me.  She has a reason.  I just don't know what it is yet.  Is she still recovering from the antibiotics?  Is her BUN too high?  Is this just another random appetite change?  She's sending me a clear message--that she doesn't like what I'm doing--but unfortunately, she's not telling me how to fix it.  That's for me to figure out. 

So I'll stop at the pet food store today and buy new canned food.  I'll allow plenty of time to feed her, and I'll take a deep breath before losing my temper.  I'll remember what this dog has been through the last almost five years, how few complaints there have been, how many times she's trusted me to do the right thing for her.  And I'll do the right thing again.  I'll respect her and guide her, nurse her through this rough patch, jump through hoops to make it all better.  Hopefully I will be successful.  I'm halfway to losing my mind over this whole thing, not because it's so much work, but because I am sick with worry for her, and I want to make things better now.  But I am focused on her best interests, and as long as she's happy and healthy, that's all that matters.