It's Tough, But Not Really

This post is written with apologies to Dr. Becker; I listened to you, I really did.  I took the rest of your advice, just not the part about not blogging about it.

Indy's been doing really great.  I can't quite explain why (though I suspect it has something to do with the decrease in stress in her life), and I certainly didn't expect it (though I did hope for it with all my heart).  She's really a fighter, and you'd think that after all these years, I'd be used to it.  It slays me every time. 

We had our twice-monthly visit with our vet on Tuesday, and Dr. Becker was pleasantly surprised when Indiana stood up to greet her when she walked in the room.  She was getting around really well, and several staff members commented on it as well.  I felt such a surge of pride that my girl was doing so well.  I stake no claim on that accomplishment; it's all her doing.

Anyway, Dr. Becker and I discussed running tests on Indiana, or, rather, not running tests on Indiana.  Dr. Becker feels (and can she read my mind? Because this has been in my thoughts for weeks) that we shouldn't run any more "unnecessary" tests on Indy; i.e. basically only treat symptoms.  (And test her kidneys, because we can alter her fluid intake to make her feel better, if necessary)  On a bigger spectrum, that means no more cancer tests at the U of I or Purdue. 

As Dr. Becker pointed out, this goes against everything I have learned as a parent in the last four and a half years.  I have learned to be proactive, to catch things before they become a problem.  And now, I'm going to stop looking for problems...especially cancer?  In a word, yes.  Indiana's stress tolerance is really low these days, and after all she's been through, she deserves to live as stress-free as possible now.

But what if the tests show cancer, you ask?  Indiana has maxed out on the most common chemo drug, doxorubicin (thanks to cancer #1), and I doubt her frail system could handle any other chemo drugs at this point.  We've already started her on Poly-MVA, the most "drastic" of our options.  Plus, we won't put her under anaesthesia for surgery.  So, armed with the potential knowledge that she has yet another form of cancer, what would our options be anyway?  It seems selfish to put her through all of the tests with no benefit gained. 

As Dr. Becker so elegantly put it, every decision we make at this point is about respecting Indiana.  Respecting her needs, but more importantly, respecting her wants. 

Maybe to some pet parents, it sounds like we're giving up on her.  We certainly are not.  We are armed with a powerful arsenal of holistic medicines and Chinese herbs as well as a crack team of veterinary specialists.  I live every day at her disposal, making sure she gets healthy foods, but ones she loves and will eat.  I painstakingly hide her pills and powders inside tasty tidbits, so she thinks she's getting yummy (yucky) things like liver sausage.  And, as we've learned is so important, I listen to what she is telling me, making sure she is happy, calm, and as mentally stimulated as she can be.  She has so many needs, yet so few wants, and it's my job to make sure she gets them.