A Fairy Tail

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Jen. Princess Jen owned lots of cats, and this was good, for Princess Jen loved her cats with all her heart.

Princess Jen and her handsome husband Prince Jim lived in their castle full of cats. Sometimes the cats would fight, but over time, the cats grudgingly accepted each other, and peace reigned in the Schneider castle.

Then one day, evil Old Man Winter descended upon the Schneiders. He took away the sunshine and made the world cold. The tenuous hold on peace that the Princess had gained was suddenly ripped away. Cats fought with cats; floors, and even boots, were peed upon. With their precious outdoors a winter wasteland, the Princess' cats started to grow mad from the seclusion.

One night, as the Princess attempted to slumber in her bed (and the Prince was off fighting Nuclear Power in the far off lands of Braidwood), the cats began a war in her home. No sooner would the Princess drift off to sleep than she would be ripped out out of it by the battle cry of the cat. The Princess sprung from her bed, armed with her trusty squirting water bottle, prepared to do battle amongst the cats. After multiple attempts, a shaky peace was achieved in the Princess' castle, and she was able to crawl back into bed, finally, after several hours.

Just when the Princess thought all was well in her home, the light of dawn brought another round of fighting. The cats had agreed, reluctantly, to a treaty of peace the night before, but the Princess could tell that these promises could easily be broken. The threat of the trusty squirting water bottle was enough to coerce the cats back into their corners. Secure in the belief that peace had once again been restored in her home, the Princess returned to bed.

Minutes later, she was awoken by an intruder in her bed. What did the intruder intend? Which of the cats was it? Alas, the Princess could not be sure, for the intruder ran off at the sound of the Prince returning from his quest. Awakening from her sleep, the Princess realized that the intruder had invaded her territory not only to drive her mad, but also to pee in her bed. Twice. The Princess suspected that her home had been invaded then by not one, but two cats during the night. She would never be safe again.

The Princess, having been dominated by the cats, arose from bed to feed them, lest they get very angry and pee on more things. The cats continued to fight, until the Princess declared that she could stand no more. Desperate with fear and frustration, the Princess took to the couch, seeking refuge in her beloved Facebook.

Seconds went by before she was approached by one of the cats. But this was no ordinary cat. This was the brave Mr. Squiggles, a calm, peaceful warrior, who though fond of peeing on carpeting and shoes, never, ever peed in her bed. Mr. Squiggles crawled upon her lap and fell asleep, content to simply be in the presence of the Princess. And while the Princess could still hear the far off sounds of cats fighting, she ignored them. The sun was shining, Old Man Winter would some day be leaving her lands, and all would be well once again in the castle. They would live Happily Ever After.

The End.