Keep on Keepin' On

So much fighting spirit!

Big developments over the weekend: the skin over the tumor fell off Sunday morning, and most of the tumor did too.  There's just a tiny bit left.  (And I haven't looked at it yet this morning, so, who knows?)  The last time I looked at it, which was last night, the mass was maybe the size of half a mushed-up kiwi.  (Does that make sense?  It does to me.)  And this is down from its large grapefruit size on Tuesday. 

I am astonished.

What we are left with now is a large, gaping wound.  It's probably 4 inches in diameter, so, I guess, fairly big.  But without flappy skin and a large tumor, it's actually pretty easy to clean.  Nolvasan, Manuka honey, bandage.  Repeat, repeat, repeat. 

I started a website to post pictures of the progress of the tumor.  Because of this experimental drug we're using, I wanted to keep track of the tumor's death.  I also wanted to keep track of how well the tumor responds to the Manuka honey, because I've heard it can do amazing things.  Anyway, I set up the page but haven't made the link public other than to mention it, once, on Facebook.  (If any of you want access, let me know, and I'll share it privately)  I'm not one to hide who I am or what I'm going through.  I blog about what's going on, and I post VERY frequent updates to Facebook to share with 215 of my closest friends.  But the pictures?  I was afraid to show that.  I still am.  I'm secure in what I'm doing, in the treatment choices that Jim and I have made.  But I'm fragile, people.  I'm an artiste.  We don't like being questioned or, God forbid, disagreed with.  What if the pictures got out and people didn't understand?  What if they thought I was letting my dog suffer?  That I was allowing her to be in pain?

I know what we're doing is right.  Indiana tells me every day, and, believe me, I'm looking for her response.  But I'm getting through this by sheer will and the love and support of more friends and family than I can count.  (How did I end up with so many wonderful animal people in my life?  I am overwhelmed!)  But I don't have room for negativity or disharmony right now.  If people think I'm wrong (and thankfully, no one has expressed that view to me), I don't want to know.  Which is why I'm keeping the photos semi-private for now.  Maybe I'll get brave later.  Who knows.

Back on track to the tumor, and, more importantly, the dog:  tumor = small/almost gone; hole left = kinda huge; dog = eating well, bright and perky, and completely kick-ass. 

Oh, how I love her so.