Normal? (Gulp)

Isis is licking off Indiana's breakfast.

Things are going shockingly well here. Life, in Indiana's mind, is back to normal. (With the exception of bandage changes--she does hate those) She is feeling good, eating well, getting around probably slightly better than normal (but still having trouble getting up). Maybe she knows she has a hole in her back. I know she knows she has a bandage on it. Indy has always hated wearing anything, be it bandages or clothes. This is why I walked into the hallway last night to find her fast asleep with her bandage pulled off and all the honey licked off. Booger.

Months and months ago, my family and I decided to spend the Thanksgiving holiday at my parents' cabin on a lake in central Illinois. Jim and I try to take the dogs there 2-3 times a year, to relax, and to get a change of scenery. It's kind of my happy place, a place that represents togetherness and family, and a lack of stress. We've never spent a holiday down there, but have been talking about it since my aunt died in 2009. Holidays in our own homes bring back too many memories, not that memories are bad. But the loss is still fresh enough that recreating the holidays, but without one of the essential parts, is just too painful. We knew we'd enjoy the holiday more by creating something new.

Our plans were thrown into question last week when Indiana got sick. We weren't sure if we'd still be able to go. But with Indiana's miraculous upswing, and the fact that her illness and our treatment of it wouldn't require an emergency vet visit, we realized we'd be safe to keep our plans.

The bandages are going with. So are all the medicines and treatments that are keeping her alive and healthy. But so are my parents, and their dog, and our best friends, and their dog. (And yes, for those keeping track, that's 6 adults and 4 dogs, all in a 900 square-foot, 2-bedroom cabin). And we'll be creating memories: new, happy memories.

Life throws you curve balls. Life is hard. Sometimes life sucks. But we soldier on. What was once normal no longer is, but we adapt and create a new normal.

This may be our last Thanksgiving with Indiana, but we don't want to dwell on the sadness of that. Instead, we'll be thankful to spend this holiday with her, making new memories and filling the time with love.

Happy Anniversary?

It seems like this time of year is filled with painful anniversaries. Many of the friends I have made through a pet cancer support group lost pets in the spring, and of course anniversaries, or more precisely, holidays, have been on my mind this year.

Yesterday was Mother's Day, and I was really dreading it in many ways. While my own Mom is still alive, young, and healthy, as is my Mother-in-Law, my aunt Carole passed away just 4 months ago. She was a huge figure in my life, like a mother to me. To have her missing on a day when we honor the mother figures in our lives was going to be difficult. I know this because several important days, including Carole's birthday, have already passed this year. I approach each one with a sense of dread, and of loss. I still carry a lot of pain and anger from the loss of Carole. Even the smallest things can hit me and remind me of my loss--something as simple as a Psalm at church, or an item at the store I know she'd like.

Mother's Day was doubly difficult because Mr. Squiggles is still missing. I'm a mother missing a child. My family is incomplete. I think of Mr. Squiggles every single day, but slap a label on a Sunday, and it makes it all that much harder.

I had something of an epiphany this weekend. I was so dreading Mother's Day (even though I wanted to make it special for my own Mom), but it's not the first holiday or event this year that I approached with the same dread. Carole's Birthday, Easter, Mr. Squiggles' Birthday. I feared all of these. But you know what? Those days came and went. I made the best of them, maybe even had some fun with my family. I woke up the next day, and life went on.

Life went on. I realized that I too would survive Mother's Day. I might even have fun. And I did. When watching all of the families at church yesterday morning threatened to remind me of Carole, I remembered this new epiphany and strengthened myself with the knowledge that I would survive today. It doesn't take away the pain, but it makes it more bearable.

So to all of my friends and readers out there facing a tough anniversary of holiday, remember this: you too will survive. The day may be tough, but you'll wake up the following day and carry on. I know there are more rough days ahead for me as I face many more firsts without Carole and Mr. Squiggles. And I will dread them. But I'll get myself through by remembering that I've already survived so much, and I don't intend to stop.


Happy Mother's Day to all of my readers out there who are Moms to both humans and pets alike. Happy Mother's Day as well to my own wonderful mothers, both the one I was born to and the one I married in to! I love you both.

Happy Birthday, Indiana!

Today is my sweet Indiana's birthday. She has achieved the thing our vets (and even us, at times) thought impossible--reached the tender age of twelve years old.

Having an aging dog is rough. Don't we all wish we could freeze them at five years old? Stay a happy, healthy age forever? We unfortunately can't do that. It's been hard the past four years, watching Indiana turn into a senior dog. Along with being a cancer survivor, she has become a hypothyroid-, Atypical Cushingoid-, kidney diseased-, arthritic-dog. Each of those diseases has added to the sting of cancer. Shouldn't one major disease exempt her from anything else?

In those dark days, when nothing seems to be going right, when a little part of my heart breaks each time I stick her with a needle to provide kidney-refreshing fluids, when I watch her hobble down the hallway, stiff from arthritis, I remember that she was supposed to have been taken from me at 8 years old. Frozen forever at that young age. I'm not being punished by all these diseases; no, I've been given a blessing. Because I still have a dog who can age.

And while every painful step, every sad look as we walk into the vet's office, and every stick of a needle still breaks my heart, I look into her eyes and see so much life. She has so much fight left in her, and so do I. Every smile in her eyes, every wag of her tail, every excited bark that comes straight from her soul, every meal that she devours with immense gusto...that is what keeps us both going. My girl is a fighter, and every day with her is a gift. Age isn't a curse, it's a blessing.

Happy Birthday, Squirt!

Today is my youngest kitty Gus' First Birthday. Or so we guess. He found us on September 25, 2008, and we guessed him to be about six to eight weeks old. He only weighed fourteen ounces, so he was super tiny, but he was weaned, so we think he was just an unlucky (although eventually VERY lucky) runt.

When we found Gus, he had an injured leg which turned out to be broken. After microscopic orthopedic surgery, Gus was good to go. Well, mostly. His leg couldn't be repaired correctly, so he can't bend it and now walks with a limp. But he couldn't care less. We have been constantly amazed by his ability to adapt. I've never once seen him frustrated at his disability. I'll tell Gus' story someday soon too, as there are lessons to be learned there as well. (Look for a post soon about his internet and calendar stardom!)

So, a very happy birthday to my little man. You've brought Daddy and I such joy. We are so lucky to have found you and brought you into our lives. You make us smile and laugh every day, and we love that we never know what you're going to do next.

The cutest darn kitten ever.

Guster today. Still pretty dern cute.

Happy Re-birthday, Indiana!

Today is Indiana's third re-birthday! Three years ago today, she was reborn free of cancer. I am so happy that she's alive and well today. We were given a miracle that day, and I will be forever grateful. Thank you, my sweet girl, for fighting so hard to come back to us.

Happy Re-Birthday!

Mr. O gets a shout-out too, for helping Indiana

(and Mama) three years ago

A Celebration of Life!

Three years ago on June 30, Indiana was reborn, free of cancer. Every year we celebrate with a big party, full of food, games, family, and friends. It's a way for us to celebrate the miracle we received that day. We are blessed with wonderful friends and family, many coming from out of town, willing to share this day with us.

Yesterday was the big day for Indiana! The weather was forecasted to be hot (close to 90 degrees), so we decided to hold the party indoors. This limited us a bit, but we figured our guests would be much more comfortable stuffed together in the air conditioned house rather than spread out under the annoying mid-western sun.

Each year brings a new party theme. This year: Flea Circus!

The centerpiece--featuring all 4 kids!

This would have been less obnoxious outside. I think.

Desserts. Yum!

Waaaaaay too much carnival food. Including nachos.

I think I consumed my weight in them yesterday.

My good friend Shanele decorated these gorgeous cupcakes

for me. All 96 of them. Isn't she talented?

Schneider parties always involve games. Usually goofy ones. We love our friends, and they're good sports for putting up with the odd things we ask them to do. This year's party was supposed to involve clowns and tricycles, but that plan was scrapped due to the heat. Darn it. We still were able to fit in two fun, less-humiliating games. And we're always generous with the prizes, so there's an incentive for our friends to play.

Here's Stuart and my Mom playing the ball toss game.

I hand-painted Krusty the Clown. I was pretty proud of that.

This game was actually a lot harder than it looks.

Stu was the winner, I think.

Being from Chicago, this was our own version

of Bozo Buckets, called Boozo Buckets.

(Indy's nickname is Boo--get it?) Note the clown shoes,

nose, and tie my wonderful Mom is wearing.

We also like to send our guests home with not only prizes, but also gift bags! (What's a party without some swag?) This year's bags featured magnets of Indiana, candy, Cracker Jacks, and a souvenir photo of the big day.

Here's talented cupcake-decorator Shanele

and husband Matt. Super cute!

Indiana had a really fun day. She was so excited to see everyone and to be the guest of honor. I swear she knew the party was for her. Several people brought gifts, and I love that everyone made sure the treats were high-quality goodies.

One of the highlights of the day, for me, was Indiana seeing my college roommate Margaret for the first time in nearly 9 years. (We all roomed together for a year) I didn't know if Indy would remember Margaret right off, but she did! No barking or nervousness, just a smile and a happy butt. It really almost made me cry, because her relationship with Margaret, until yesterday, was entirely B.C. (before cancer, as we call it). Seeing Indy and Margaret together again brought me back to those innocent days. It was bittersweet, thinking of the lost innocence as well as the wonderful memories we all have together.

Here's a happy Indiana with her

Auntie Margaret.

It was really just a wonderful day for all of us. We're so lucky to have friends willing to help set up the party, tear down, and come and join in the fun. We have so much to be thankful for. We have amazing friends and family and the best dog in the whole world. She's still alive and well, and we couldn't ask for anything more.

Happy New Birthday, my precious girl!

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to all of the fathers out there--both to humans and furry children alike!

My kids have the best Daddy in the world!

Papa, Indiana, and Gus

Dad provides the most comfortable lap in the house,

says Mr. Squiggles

A fun day at Allerton Park with Indiana and Isis

Jim's a great Dad. He always greets the kids with excitement, love, and hugs. He's ready for a walk at a moment's notice. He can snuggle with the best of them. He isn't afraid to act silly to make the babies smile. Jim would go to the ends of the earth to help the animals, and he was so amazing when Indiana got sick. He never considers money or inconvenience, only what's best for the kids. We are lucky to have such a wonderful husband and father.

I also have to give love to the Grampas in the animals' lives. Jim's Dad (and Mom) has stayed at our home on numerous occasions to babysit while we're on vacation, and they always come down for Indiana's annual cancer survival party. (More on that shindig next week!) My Dad (and Mom) comes over to feed the kids when we're at work or out of town, he's always up for babysitting, whether for an evening or for a week, and I know he would do anything for my kids. He too was amazing during Indiana's illness. Jim and I wouldn't have survived without my parents that week.

So, to the three men in my babies' lives, I love you all very much! We're lucky you're a part of our lives.