This Time, Cancer Didn't Win

Our Princess, finally free of leiomyosarcoma

I had intentions of doing a big celebration-style post for yesterday's celebration-worthy happenings, but when it came down to it, that just didn't seem quite right.  Of course Jim and I celebrated.  We talked about that day, 5 years ago, that changed our lives forever.  We took the dogs out for celebratory hamburgers and ice cream.  Our hearts rejoiced at what we, and our amazing dog, had accomplished. 

But ultimately, I still look back on that day with great reflection.  For those who may not know, on June 30, 2006,  Indiana was diagnosed with leiomyosarcoma, a cancer of the smooth tissues.  She almost died, and, in fact, was expected to die.  It took me three full years before I could write down the story and really talk about it.  Want to read it?  It's sad (I'll give you a spoiler: it ends well).  But, in my humble opinion, it's worth reading.  Read it for Indy.  Five years is incredible, to be sure, but what's so significant about this milestone, is that after five years free of leiomyosarcoma, her cancer is considered cured.  Gone.  Forever.

In some ways, the five years seem like forever ago.  Have we really made it five whole years?  With the exception of our primary vet, no doctor expected her to live that long.  Yet, here she is, five years later, still happy and healthy.  We're constantly told by veterinary staff how incredible she is.  Not just because she's sweet and gentle and never complains.  But because, according to all odds, she should be dead.

Since her (practically) terminal diagnosis 5 years ago, Indiana has been diagnosed with a mass in her heart, hypothyroidism, atypical Cushing's Disease, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, chronic kidney disease, and, most recently, a cutaneous sarcoma.  The Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and subsequent kidney disease almost did her in again.  But in true Indiana form, she bounced back.  I won't deny that the kidney disease takes a lot of care.  Our saint of a dog has allowed us to administer subcutaneous fluids every single day, for the last 21 months.  The fluids keep her alive and feeling well.  She understands that, and I find that simply amazing.

Jim and I have learned so much since we almost lost Indy the first time.  We learned, for one, exactly how precious she is to us.  We also learned what we were capable of handling, what we were willing to sacrifice for her.  During particularly financially lean times (it's staggering how expensive veterinary hospitalization is), we've given up all unnecessary spending, including meals out, new clothes, entertainment.  Small things, really, when a life is on the line.  We've learned to keep a large cushion of money in our accounts, knowing that catastrophic illness can occur at any time.  We'll never make a decision for our children based on finances. 

We've learned to be better parents.  We know what to feed our pets, and why.  We know the importance of exercise.  We know, the hard way, the importance of listening, and I mean really listening, to what our pets are telling us. 

Our lifestyle has changed dramatically as well.  While we used to travel 4-5 times a year, we've cut that down to 2-3.  Still a lot, to be sure, but definitely the bare minimum of what our wandering souls can handle.  And now that Indy is old, we stay within a 2-hours flight, in places that have fairly frequent flights, lest we need to return home quickly.  Our hearts yearn to return to places like Hawaii and Paris, to see new things, like China and Africa, but they'll all still be there when Indy is gone. 

Because of Indy's tiny stomach (lost to surgery in 2006), she eats three times a day, at roughly 7am, 2pm, and 9pm.  We've lived the last five years around this schedule.  We are fortunate to have wonderful friends who understand this and are willing to plan excursions around those times, or who have made an unbalanced number of trips to our house for dinner, so we could be home to feed the dogs.  Plus, my amazing parents, who have come over numerous times to feed the girls when our plans couldn't be made around meal times, or who took the girls for the evening, so they could still have their 9 o'clock meal.  And having a dog on sub-q kidney fluids means making sure she gets them every single day.  For nights away, we rely on our wonderful friend Amanda, a vet tech with a heart of gold, willing to drive to my parents house every day to administer fluids for us. 

Though we cut back last year, we took Indiana to physical therapy, over an hour away, twice a week for nearly three years.  Now it's twice a month.  Plus, we have the once a month chiropractic visits as well as the twice-monthly acupuncture appointments.  And the periodic kidney specialist, cardiology, and oncology visits.  Our time is Indiana's time.  As it should be.

I wouldn't trade those sacrifices for the world.  Indiana has been such a blessing to us.  Everything we know we've learned from her.  We've learned how to truly love, opening our hearts to so many other animals.  Not a day goes by during which I don't wish the cancer had never happened.  But without it, I wouldn't be the mother I am today.  I've met incredible people, people dedicated to fighting cancer, not only in their own pets, but in others' as well.  People who will be my friends forever.

I've learned that while we love our animals with a fierceness that is rare, we are not alone.  There are others out there like us, willing to move heaven and Earth to save their pets.  To make every day the best it can be.  And that is truly heartwarming.

To my sweet Princess, all I can say is, thank you.  You've enriched my life more than you'll ever know.  I live every single day trying to live up to your standards.  You think I am everything, you have given all you have to me.  It's the least I can do to give my all to you.  I know you've stayed with us out of love.  You've fought every step of the way for us.  I can't ever repay that, but I'll certainly try. 

Congratulations on beating cancer, my sweet baby.  Cancer doesn't always win.

Never lose hope.

Cancer and Things

I will admit that this picture has nothing to do with my post.

But it's cute.  And Isis is in it, which is rare.

Indiana is doing really, really well.  I've written about that a few times recently, and it never ceases to amaze me.  She's got so much energy (for a 13-year-old, arthritic dog), and she's eating like a champ.  And taking her pills.  The other day, though, she chewed a big bald spot on her back.  Ugh.  Just when we'd gotten her hair grown in.  So now she has a small skin infection on her back, but the good thing is that the bald spot made our vet take a closer look at Indy's tumor.  We noticed earlier this year that it had grown.  We were pretty disappointed, but we knew that we had the option to debulk the tumor if need be.  But upon closer inspection, my vet discovered that the tumor actually had a hematoma on top--most likely the source of the "growth."  So, sort of yay on that account.  Hematomas are pretty harmless, and other than giving her a homeopathic med for it, we're basically leaving it alone, to reabsorb on its own.  At which time, I hope to find the tumor still at it's original size.  Fingers crossed.

Thursday marks Indiana's cure date for cancer #1.  That's right, you heard me.  Cure.  Cure. 

Cure.

I can hardly believe it myself. 

I promise a blog filled with pictures, insights, stories, and, if I'm doing my job right, a few tears.  After all, cancer #1 made me who I am today, the kind of mother I've grown to be, the person I am evolving into.  That day, June 30, 2006, was one of the worst days of my life.  I relive it every year.  But maybe this year will be easier, knowing we've finally conquered the beast.



Every Pet Deserves a Chance at Life

In just 3 days, I will be in Boston with my friend Amy to walk in the 4th Annual Paws 4 A Cure Walk.  A while back, I wrote a guilt-inducing (I hope!) post about why groups like Paws 4 A Cure, who provides medical treatment for animals whose parents can't afford it, are important.  We're not talking about medical treatments like teeth cleaning, or shots, or spay and neuter.  We're talking about things like life-or-death surgery or cancer treatments.  Without these, the pets would most likely die. 

It breaks my heart to think that a pet could die because a family couldn't afford to treat them.  Jim and I have always felt so fortunate that we could afford any care for Indiana that we needed.  But not every family is so lucky.  And that's why I feel that it's so important to give back.  Indiana has had almost 5 more years of good quality life since her first cancer diagnosis, and though there have been bumps on the road, she has come through all of them.  I think every pet deserves that chance. 

So that's why I'm donating money to Paws 4 A Cure, and that's why I'm flying all the way to Boston to support my friend, Paws 4 A Cure founder Keri, in this wonderful endeavor.  I would be most grateful if you would make a donation as well.  No amount is too small.  If you feel moved to support this cause, please head to their website and make a pledge.  "Team Indiana Bones" would appreciate your support! Every pet deserves a chance at life!

Changing the Way We Think

Indiana teaches me something new nearly every day.  Oh, and Dr. Becker, our vet, too. 

Now that Indiana is nearly 13 years old, and suffering from kidney disease (although she doesn't really suffer,  but she does have it), her eating habits have changed drastically.  It used to be that if she didn't eat or, specifically, didn't inhale the food put in front of her, that indicated something was wrong with her.  But not so much anymore.  She eats three times a day (thanks to a missing pyloric sphincter from cancer #1), and if it goes smoothly once a day, I consider that a success.  Some days, she eats three meals really well.  But other days, well, let's just say it doesn't bring out the best in me.  I try to be patient.  I try to be understanding.  But I really wish she had a way to clearly communicate with me 100% of the time. 

Readers of my blog know that I firmly believe in the power of a whole, fresh diet.  This is the building block of wellness for any living being.  So when Indiana doesn't eat well, I worry that she's not getting the nutrients that she needs. 

We see Dr. Becker twice a month now, and we spend a lot of time talking about Indiana's over-all well being (short-term is kind of more important than long-term these days), which, naturally, includes her diet.  Her lack of interest in eating has concerned me, not because I worry that she's sick, but because it's not what is expected.  We expect our pets to eat the same amount of food with the same gusto their entire lives.  But, apparently, this is not normal.  So we shouldn't expect it.

You see, living bodies contain something called leptins (enjoy this manically complicated Wikipedia entry--good luck understanding it), which are essentially hormones that regulate appetite. Dogs (or humans, even) who are leptin-resistant never feel full.  But as the body ages, and as the dog (or human) becomes less active, the leptins tell the body that it requires fewer and fewer calories.  Little to no activity = little caloric intake.  This is why, if you are fortunate to have elderly parents or grandparents, you see them eating tiny amounts and then declaring themselves full.  But you only ate half a sandwich!  And now you're full?  It's the same with our pets.  A 13 year-old dog shouldn't require the same amount of food as a 4 year-old. 

Yet, we feed our pets the same way their whole lives and expect it never to change.  But it does.  And that's ok.  We are now offering Indiana smaller amounts of food and not worrying when she doesn't eat as much.  Some days, she just gets a can and a half of food, or 2/3 of a pound of raw meat.  It doesn't sound like much, and back in the day, she could eat a whole lot more.  But this is what her body wants, and actually, all it requires.  And now that I've learned that, I will respect it.

*Thanks to Dr. Becker for explaining all of this.  Any potential errors in this post are a product of my crummy memory and are completely mine*

***UPDATE***  I should note that while Indiana's caloric needs have decreased, her nutritional needs have not.  Therefore, we're starting to give her a multivitamin to cover any nutritional holes.